The Long Distance Relationship between the Parents and the University of the Philippines Mindanao Freshmen, Who Study Away From Home, During the Academic Year 2007-2008

I. Introduction:

Do you know the possible physical and emotional effects on the University of the Philippines Mindanao Freshmen if they study away from home?

Parents from the rural areas work hard just to provide money for their child’s better education. They let go of their child when the right time comes. The right time is when they reach college. Some parents prefer to send their child in state universities because aside from its standard, it’s also inexpensive.

University of the Philippines, as we all know, is a university well-known in the country. Many parents want their child to graduate in such university. But then, for those whose dwelling is far from the city, their only choice is to let go of their children. To allow them to explore the bigger city, away from the place where he/she grew up.

Here in University of the Philippines in Mindanao, there are a lot of students who are away from their hometown. A few still came from Luzon and Visayas, while the rest are originally from Davao City or the neighboring cities. They are students who took a risk to have a brighter future. Others are forced to study in the university even if it’s not really what they want. But, whichever way you look at it, it still points to the fact that students under this kind situation will have a long distance relationship with your parents.

Long distance relationship with parents is a difficult thing to deal with, especially when it comes to students. Of course, homesickness is inevitable. Sometimes, it’s the reason why they feel depressed and alone. The lack of the parents’ presence also results in the same way. But there are a lot more reasons, not only those that I have just mentioned. Aside from the reasons, there are also effects which will hinder him/her from attaining his/her goal.

II. Purpose

The purpose of the study is to help the students, particularly those who can relate to the topic, learn more about their relationship with their parents. The study may also help them get through with it if until now they are still in the process of finding a way how to avoid it, for instance, homesickness. It will enlighten the minds of the students who experience it, so that they will know who to consult whenever they feel lonely and don’t have their parents to comfort them. It will also stir the awareness of the other students who aren’t conscious about the issue. They may have a number of friends who experience the same thing, and had not known that they can also be of big help. This will also help the parents. It will give them knowledge about how not to break their communication to their child, especially now that they are away from each other.

III. Importance

This certain study is important because it is a condition shared by a lot of people. In fact, here in the university, most students are from rural areas. It will provide them information about how to make their relationship with their parents strong even if they are away. As well as, how to communicate with them in a way that you will think you’re just with them. As for the parents, they will see how to let their child know they are still loved and never forgotten even. This study will also give a chance to let others be knowledgeable about the situation they are in because sometimes, they don’t understand.

IV. Methodology:

• Look for students who’s studying away from home.
• Get to know them and interview them about things related to this topic.
• Interview parents whose child study to U.P. campuses far from Mindanao, like U.P. Diliman.
• Survey a minumum of seven students whose homes are just nearby. What are the advantages?
• Look for book regarding the parent-child relationship

Week planner:

4th week of January: I will first observe the students around me, especially friends whom I know live in rural areas. Then, I will list my observations in a notebook I provided for my research.

1st week of February: Do some research on the worldwide web regarding my topic. Look for books from the Main Library, CHSS Library and City Library which can be of big help to my topic.

2nd week of February: It’s survey time! I will ask a minimum of seven students who are just living nearby. I will ask them about the advantages of living with your parents while studying.

3rd week of February: I will look for more resources from the internet and the libraries.

4th week of February: I will make a tentative outline and a draft for my research paper. Along comes with it, the beginnig of the first part of my term paper.

1st week of march: I will polish it and make the final one to be submitted.

Sources:

• Dawn O. Braithwaite and Julia T. Wood — “Case Studies in Interpersonal Communication: Processes and Problems”
• Joseph A. Devito — “The Interpersonal Communication Book: 6th Edition”
• Stewart L. Tubbs and Sylvia Moss –”Human Communication: 6th Edition”
• Em Griffin –”A First Look Into Communication”
• URL : http://www.co.bannock.id.us/dmoretip.htm
• URL : http://www.distanceparent.org/
• URL: http://www.wikihow.com/Keep-a-Long-Distance-Relationship-with-Your-Child

My aunt said she never tried using Pantene before but after seeing the advetisement in t.v., the one with Dawn Zulueta, she tried it. Her hair is really picky when it comes to shampoos. After a week of using Pantene, she said her scalp felt itchy and her hair was always dry. So she decided to return to her old shampoo. She learned never to be fooled again by the endorsers of a certain product. Indeed, she’s right.

The advertisement by PCSO shows photos of children who are less fortunate. The PCSO, as we all know, is an acronym for Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Office. It is a charity that helps the people who are in need by giving them the proceeds.

I get your point. Indeed, you can never stop yourself from being curious. But always remember that everyone of us have his/her own secrets. Maybe that diary Shelley keeps with her is really one of her most private possessions. Even if you are already seriously dating for six months, you can’t force her to show it to you if she really don’t want to. Besides, she never holds back from you, right? She tells you most of the things that she thinks you have to know. So don’t feel bad if you never had the chance to read her writings in her diary. You don’t know, maybe when time comes, she’ll let you read it.

According to the Relational Dialectics, you must have balance in your relationships to keep it alive. You don’t want your six-month relationship with her to be broken just because of a single diary, right? To stop you from being curious, avoid thinking about it. Instead, focus more on her. Show her you love her more everyday. And always keep in mind that no secrets can break your relationship apart.

Your Friend,

Geva

I do understand you with the problem you are facing right now.  I, myself, is a teenager and I know during that stage, we like to spend more time with our friends rather than our family.  We find comfort more with our friends because we think that they are the only people who could understand us. 

You are already a grown up and you are independent enough to take care of yourself.  But you think that your mother is overprotecting you.  She treats you like a child though you’re not.  Regarding your father, who treats you almost the same way your mother treats you, maybe he thinks smoking is not good for you.  And about your major, maybe for him it’s better to continue your premed because he thinks it’s the only way to success.  For your last problem, your sister, maybe she don’t feel loved at home or she simply wants attention.

You know moms, all they think about was the safety of their children.  Instead of hating her, love her even more and be thankful because she never leave you.  Your father, only wants you to make sure you made the right decision.  And your sister, even if she acts that way, she still loves you but maybe she just don’t know how to show it.

There’s this theory, Watzlawick’s Interactional View, that explains what you are going through.  Your parents act that way because of that certain theory which states that whatever happens to a member of a family, the other members will be affected.  Let’s take the announcement of your sister as an example.  You said that when you were about to go to a concert, she announces that she is pregnant.  Then suddenly, you found out that because of what she said, you never was able to watch the concert.  Of course, your parents thought they’re somewhat responsible to what happened to her.  So, they’ll postpone everything just to attend to their children’s necessities.

I can see that your really having a hard time bearing with your family.  But you said you love them even if their nuts at times.  Here’s all I can tell you, your family loves you the way you do.  Have you watched the film LiLo and Stitch?  They mentioned there the word Ohana, ”Ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind.”  So no matter what happens, your family is all you’ve got even if your friends aren’t their anymore.  Stay safe! 

Since we were kids, we already knew how to smile, even babies smile. It is interesting because it is an involuntary action. And aside from that, nobody needs someone to teach them how to smile. Actually, to smile is to show someone that you are amused or happy but on the other hand, it can also mean sarcasm. And of course, smile is also a way of greeting someone.

On the part of my study, i’m interested to the smile that shows friendliness. It is important to study the communication act, smiling, because most students do it. It is very observable, especially everyday at school. And it will be easier to conduct a study because it is one common act.  Besides, not only students do it because everybody does it.  Hence, not everybody who smile mean one thing for the simple reason that it has many meanings.

For me to have an easier research about my communication act, i decided to schedule the things that i must do regarding the act that i have chosen. i made a weekly calendar that shows my plans for the next weeks. This will help me make an organized study.

planner:

3rd week of January: I will first observe the students around me, particularly their smiles. Then, I will list my observations in a notebook I provided for my research.

4th week of January: Do some research on the worldwide web regarding my topic.

1st week of February: It’s survey time! I will ask around 10 students who I notice smile a lot. I will ask them how they feel whenever they smile. And to whom they smile… etc.

2nd week of February: I will gather sources from libraries and from the internet.

3rd week of February: I will make an outline and a draft for my research paper.

4th week of February: I will start typing my final paper and polishing comes with it.

sources:
1.) Candy Magazine, from their feature entitled, “Faking it=Making it! Pretend your way to a better you.”
2.) Images, A Blueknight Literary Portfolio Vol. 55 No. 4 January-February 2004, the article entitled, “February Fourteen.”
3.) http://www.primechoice.com/philosophy/shelp/impofsmile.htm
4.) http://www.positive-way.com/body.htm
5.) http://www.smilingalbino.com/stories/smiles.asp

PS — I find it intresting that’s why I posted it. And it will also help those people who can’t show their smiles in their faces. ü [url: http://www.wikihow.com/Smile-When-You-Think-You-Can't-Smile]

PS — yellowish teeth are healthy, right? XD

PS — smile: a smile is a facial expression formed by flexing the muscles most notably near both ends of the mouth. The smile can be also around the eyes. Among humans, it’s customarily an expression of pleasure, happiness, or amusement, but can also be an involuntary expression of anxiety, in which case it can be known as a grimace. There is much evidence that smiling is a normal reaction to certain stimuli and occurs regardless of culture. Happiness is most often the cause of a smile. [url: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smile] ü